June 9 - One of the Preseason tasks is about voicing your goals and saying it out loud.
My first round I didn't do this, I wasn't brave enough to say "This is what I want", because I felt that saying that would be like telling people how unhappy I really was.
So, I skipped that one.
When my second round came I shouted - selectively though, to people that I felt would hear it the way I wanted them to. I kept control over who was listening.
This round - if you haven't heard me then you need to get your hearing checked!
But it's now less of "this is what I want" it has now turned into "this is who I am".
It feels strong and grounded to be where I am right now.
I feel like I am in sync with myself - body, mind and soul are all in it together now. There is no more fighting to be done - I'm just gently leaning into it.
I also crow because I have this feeling that there may be someone else who is in exactly the same position that I was in and they are waiting there to hear my story and to know that they can choose life too.
So I'm shouting as loudly as I can, because I want to make this mean something.
So I did a story in the local paper - even with the inaccuracies (my name, pulmonary embolism not heart attack, 50kg not 30kg etc etc etc) I'm good with this :)
And more importantly I am wearing my first piece of Lorna Jane clothing EVER!
My first round I didn't do this, I wasn't brave enough to say "This is what I want", because I felt that saying that would be like telling people how unhappy I really was.
So, I skipped that one.
When my second round came I shouted - selectively though, to people that I felt would hear it the way I wanted them to. I kept control over who was listening.
This round - if you haven't heard me then you need to get your hearing checked!
But it's now less of "this is what I want" it has now turned into "this is who I am".
It feels strong and grounded to be where I am right now.
I feel like I am in sync with myself - body, mind and soul are all in it together now. There is no more fighting to be done - I'm just gently leaning into it.
I also crow because I have this feeling that there may be someone else who is in exactly the same position that I was in and they are waiting there to hear my story and to know that they can choose life too.
So I'm shouting as loudly as I can, because I want to make this mean something.
So I did a story in the local paper - even with the inaccuracies (my name, pulmonary embolism not heart attack, 50kg not 30kg etc etc etc) I'm good with this :)
And more importantly I am wearing my first piece of Lorna Jane clothing EVER!
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