This is the thing I did for Shape Magazine.  Unfortunately they used the "I'm a big smug wanker" photo :P

Yes, I have neck waddle.  It has appeared over the last month or so. Along the way I have had other bits that sagged, most of which are starting (slowly) to tone. But I had never really thought about the neck waddle and it bothers me! It really really really bothers me! 
Although - it is kind of fun to play with, in honour of the Waddle I have made a short Vlog...
Well, not the complete story. I don't actually have my starting picture. I was about 30kgs heavier in it. I couldn't bring myself to do a photo in my undies. So this is just 2012. This Bridges chick might be on to something :)
I believe that change should be celebrated. In this day and age  there is far too little ritual in our lives. We rush madly through each moment scrambling to survive and in doing this we forget to thrive.  I have made a point of celebrating and taking symbolic steps along this journey home and one of the monumental steps happened a little over a week ago.
It was then that I climbed the mountain. A real honest to God mountain. From the first moment I saw her it was love. Now climbing a mountain would be enough to write an entry about - but it was the ritual that made this so special.

The List
The night before I sat in the freezing cold in front of a camp fire, with another 12WBTer RuthP, writing our lists. It began as a list of ways I had let the weight hold me down. But as I keep discovering on this journey, the list became something much greater. 
It turned into a list of letting go; old wounds, old concepts of myself. Things that I didn't realise I was carrying around ended up on that list.
Once we4 had finished our lists we read them in silence and then... we burned those suckers. We then collected the ashes. Ruth made a comment about how light and insignificant our lists had become. This other weight we had been carrying around for so long had been reduced to something so incredibly small.

The Climb and a a new day
At 3am we met the other 12WBTers (and my very reluctant sister) to begin the climb. It was cold. It was dark. I had the Flu. I am not going to write about the climb itself, that's something between me and the mountain.
But that first line of light that spread itself along the horizon was spectacular and each moment between then and seeing the new day in it's entirety was simply stunning.
As the new day dawned Ruth and I released our list to the mountain. She is now carrying those burdens for us.  

 I had said initially that I would write a new list when I was up there, a list of who am now and who I am becoming; but I realised something, I don't want a list of who I am because I'm enjoying the fact that I keep surprising myself along the way. 

We walked down the mountain into our new day.

Every fat girl knows how to angle the camera just right. Yep, that's it.. you put the camera on a 45 degree angle too your face and HEY PRESTO! Skinny chick! For years that was the only kind of photo I would allow and when I was asked to supply photos to Shape magazine for a profile I was stumped. First the only before pics I have are the ones we took for the 12WBT and 2 from my sons welcoming day. 
I feel sad that I am not included in any photographic memories of my sons life prior to the 12WBT and that events like his welcoming day exist in memory rather than in pictures. But... nothing to be done for that now.
Today I had to have some photos taken for Shape, the wonderful Meagan Mendels came to the rescue and agreed to take the shots.
I was a horrible subject - everyone who knows me knows that I'm a poser - but I froze, I couldn't remember how to let someone take my picture.
But thanks to Meagan we got there :)